Out of the woods
Are we out of the rematch yet?
Are we clear now?
Are we safe?
Unfortunately, a lot of you know that moment, when your Aupair profile goes online again after a rematch.
The terrible emptiness you feel right after you told your host family you want to leave them and the warm feeling of hope that everything will get better from now on at the same time.
Fortunately, most Aupairs get another chance to get lucky and maybe I gonna be one of them.
After the exit talk with my LCC and my host family, the Aupair agency put my profile back online again, so that new potential host families could see it.
I was excited. I was waiting for a new match. A new chance. A new adventure.
It kinda felt like on tinder, but you don’t match men, you match a family.
If you’ve read my last story, you already know why I couldn’t stay in my first family in California and that I decided to go into rematch after only one month with them.
I decided to break up with my first American love and take the chance to find a new one.
A better one. My one and only match.
I was lucky, after only a couple of minutes, I got my first new match.
I immediately thought THAT’S it!
They gonna be my new family.
I was instantly thrilled to talk to them.
The parents both worked in finance and lived in Manhattan.
I already saw myself singing „Welcome to New York“ and „These streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you, cause now you’re in Neeeew York, Neeew York, NEW YORK!“
It was ridiculous, but I just felt IT.
The Mom, Carol, was beautiful, smart, talented.
The Dad, Jason, was very successful and has traveled the world.
They had two sweet boys named Tim and Marlon that loved soccer and seemed well behaved and very polite.
The exact opposite of the red-headed devils I took care of in L.A
The boys were already 12 years old, so they needed more someone to manage their weekly schedule than a babysitter.
I felt like they’re a good fit cause I was good at organizing. I felt like I could add something positive to their life.
So, I skyped with them and the interview went very well.
I talked with the boys about their favorite soccer player, what they like to eat, where they spend their free time and all of that stuff.
With the parents, I talked about the house rules and their expectations that totally matched with mine.
I didn’t see a reason why I should go on with my search, but the parents asked me for one more night to think about everything.
At this point, I thought, they just wanted to talk to the boys again to make this important decision as a family, so, I let them release my profile and went to bed.
At the next morning, the first thing I did was checking my emails to see if the Woods sent me a mail.
They didn’t send me a mail or text. But I told myself to not get nervous. Maybe they’d still asleep. They’re also very busy, so don’t panic, girl.
Instead of their mail, I got the notification of my Aupair agency that I had another match.
I wasn’t very excited because I was still sure I’d match with the Woods. Anyways, it couldn’t hurt to look at their profile.
The Mom sent me a nice mail and some pics of the kids.
I told the Mom that I’m already in contact with another family, but that I’m happy to talk to them, too.
She sent me her „matchmakers“ 😊 and „deal breakers“. 😢
That was her way of trying to figure out if the family and the Aupair would be a good fit.
The system was easy.
She would describe the family schedule and the rules in their house and I should tell her if I’d be okay with them by using a 😊 or 😢.
The mom started with matchmakers like „You’d become like a big sister to the kids“, „you gonna have your own room“, „we have a dog“ and „ we go to church regularly“.
She went on with things I could adjust to, like „waking up at 4:30 a.m. when parents need to work early“ and a „curfew at 11 pm“ although I was 23 at that time and didn’t think a curfew would be necessary. She ended with total deal breakers like „You won’t have a weekend off during your first 9 months, but you can take your vacation during Christmas time to travel“.
She even said that she knew that this was totally against the rules, but that she didn’t care cause her job situation required to be that „flexible“.
There’s no need to say that the family itself turned out to be the deal breaker. I asked them to release my profile and it started all over again.
During this rematch time, I still lived with my host family in L.A.
This situation was very hard on me.
You live in someone’s house and eat someone’s food that doesn’t want you to be there.
I didn’t work anymore for them.
I was just a guest.
I spend most of the time alone in my room.
Just with my thoughts.
I was crying a lot.
Skyping with my family and boyfriend in Europe didn’t make things easier.
I didn’t want my American adventure to be over before it has even begun.
I was so scared and disappointed.
Terrified of the future.
Tired and at the same time excited.
I wanted to use my free time to explore L.A.
I didn’t know if I needed to fly home in 2 weeks.
So, I wanted to use my time and do something productive and fun.
But at the same time, I needed to have internet access 24/7 to see if I’d have a new match.
And if I’d have one, I needed wifi and a quiet place to talk to my new potential host family.
Right as I wanted to leave the house to go to the beach and distract myself with beach and sun, I got a call.
It was Carol.
I was so excited. Ran back to my room to be able to talk to her in privacy.
Her voice was warm and she talked real slowly.
She said She’d be sorry, but she discussed the situation with her husband and the agency and there’d be no solution.
I didn’t know which situation she meant.
The Woods just needed a new Aupair for six months.
I needed a family for eleven months.
Usually, the family just extends the contract in those cases, but in this special case, the Woods just wanted someone for six more months and then quit the Aupair program forever.
The boys were already 12 and their apartment in Manhattan wasn’t that big.
I understood that this was an issue, but I asked them why they even matched with me then.
They raised my hope and disappointed me now.
I would even be willed to match with them and go into rematch again after the six months with them.
Carol didn’t think of that until now and said she’d talk with her husband about that option.
As Carol hung up the phone, I had a nervous breakdown.
I was devastated.
I had the feeling that I’d never find a rematch family. That I’d need to go home. After all the obstacles I’ve fought.
That’s unfair. The whole system was unfair.
I was angry at my current host family that lied to me about the family situation and the parenting style, about the kids and their expectation. About the lifestyle and just everything.
I was angry at the Aupair agency that just let you match with one family at a time so that one family which maybe is a very bad match blocks your profile for days and time is the one thing you don’t have.
And Carol, who matched with me although she knew that it couldn’t work out.
I skyped with my Mom, the only person that could help in that situation.
The rematch process was nerve wrecking for her too.
She already wanted me to come home. But I wouldn’t give up.
I needed to stay strong. For my dream.
At the end of the day, my Aupair agency sent me a mail that the Woods decided to not match with me because of the time problem.
Carol didn’t even call me herself.
Maybe it was good I didn’t match with them. Maybe she wasn’t the one I thought she’d be.
I refused to give up. Maybe, I was „out of the woods“, but my hunt for the right family would go on…
Howdy, gals and guys
I’m Kate and I’m so grateful to get the opportunities to write about my experiences as an aupair in the US. I hope to inspire some of you and give you good advice. My time in the USA has been adventurous and very emotional so that I use a pseudonym to protect the privacy of everybody involved. Everything I write is based on true experiences. Feel free to comment and ask questions.